Please excuse me today but I feel I just need to vent. If you noticed my title, there are a few issues I want to talk about.
First, I'm stressed out! I hadn't mentioned this is my first blog but the choice of becoming a surrogate was an easy choice for me, however, it wasn't as easy of a choice for my Grandma. The day that I called my Grandma and told her...let's just say I didn't get the response I had hoped for. It started out pretty amusing to me because when I called her she happened to be watching the movie "Baby Momma"...you know the one with Tina Fay & Amy Poehler? If you haven't seen it you need to because I thought it was hilarious! Well I thought this would be perfect chance to tell her my decision. Well guess what, it wasn't! I don't think I have ever had my Grandma that mad at me in my entire life! She just could not and would not listen to anything I had to say and it ended up with both of us angry and her saying "I'm sorry that you don't respect my opinion, goodbye!" then she hung up on me. :( Not a good way to end a conversation! My mom was an OBGYN nurse for a good portion of my life. She absolutely loved her job and it fit her wonderfully. SN: If my mom were here, it would make my life so much easier! Now back on subject, I tried to explain to my Grandma that I thought my mom would be so proud of me! In fact I KNOW that my mom would be proud of me, I have no doubt about it! Like I mentioned in my first blog, she is the biggest support for me making this decision. So I tried to soften my Grandma with this statement which had no affect on her. Well since that day, I still talk to my Grandma every week however, she has never mentioned that day or asked me how it was going again. So what's a girl to do? I'm afraid if I call her and say "Surprise I'm pregnant with twins and they're not mine!" she would just hang up on me and never talk to me again. I don't need that stress so I thought maybe I should write her a letter. I did and mailed it yesterday. I called a couple of family members to warn them that she would probably be calling within the next few days pissed off at me. I did tell my Grandma that I would love to answer any questions she may have if she wanted to talk to me about it. Hopefully she will be open with me. If not, I guess we go back to having our heads in the sand...I HATE that option! So I guess next week you will get to hear how that went!
Second, I'm exhausted! I was tired when I was pregnant with both of my boys but this pregnancy is kicking my ass! Probably because it's twins but it still sucks! I want to go back to sleep as soon as I wake up, I want to go to sleep on the drive to work, I want to sleep through lunch, I just want to sleep and with a job, husband, & 2 little boys it's pretty much impossible! My husband has had strep for 2 days so he had been quarantined away from the boys and I. Well, last night work had a going away party for a girl that is leaving us so I was out a little later than normal (I left the party at 8 and got home around 9) and when I got home, now that Daryl is allowed to have human contact, he was a ball of energy when I got home! When we crawled into bed I couldn't get him to hush! He just wanted to talk and all I wanted to do was sleep. So today I feel like I was hit by a bus! Hopefully I will catch up on sleep this weekend and not be as tired...HOPEFULLY!
Third, I'm just uncomfortable! I think it's my chair at work. I feel like I can't breathe! After I eat I feel like it's sitting just below my boobs! I know I felt like this with my other pregnancies but I know it wasn't until the last couple of months! If it's this bad already...oh dear! When I get up and walk around it gets better so I try to so that as much as possible during the day but then it looks like I'm not working. Oh well, I guess I will just have to deal.
I'm sorry that you have had to read nothing but bitching today but I'm trying to be as real as possible! Pregnancy is hard and it's not always wonderful but the outcome makes it worth it! Plus, you're reading it and no one is making you! :) I appreciate each and everyone of you taking the time to listen to my ranting and raving! My cousin Traci told me to keep a journal of my thoughts and feelings so that is what I'm trying to do! Some days will be more amusing than others but I hope you stick with me! Much love! ~Mel
No comments:
Post a Comment