Please excuse me today but I feel I just need to vent. If you noticed my title, there are a few issues I want to talk about.
First, I'm stressed out! I hadn't mentioned this is my first blog but the choice of becoming a surrogate was an easy choice for me, however, it wasn't as easy of a choice for my Grandma. The day that I called my Grandma and told her...let's just say I didn't get the response I had hoped for. It started out pretty amusing to me because when I called her she happened to be watching the movie "Baby Momma"...you know the one with Tina Fay & Amy Poehler? If you haven't seen it you need to because I thought it was hilarious! Well I thought this would be perfect chance to tell her my decision. Well guess what, it wasn't! I don't think I have ever had my Grandma that mad at me in my entire life! She just could not and would not listen to anything I had to say and it ended up with both of us angry and her saying "I'm sorry that you don't respect my opinion, goodbye!" then she hung up on me. :( Not a good way to end a conversation! My mom was an OBGYN nurse for a good portion of my life. She absolutely loved her job and it fit her wonderfully. SN: If my mom were here, it would make my life so much easier! Now back on subject, I tried to explain to my Grandma that I thought my mom would be so proud of me! In fact I KNOW that my mom would be proud of me, I have no doubt about it! Like I mentioned in my first blog, she is the biggest support for me making this decision. So I tried to soften my Grandma with this statement which had no affect on her. Well since that day, I still talk to my Grandma every week however, she has never mentioned that day or asked me how it was going again. So what's a girl to do? I'm afraid if I call her and say "Surprise I'm pregnant with twins and they're not mine!" she would just hang up on me and never talk to me again. I don't need that stress so I thought maybe I should write her a letter. I did and mailed it yesterday. I called a couple of family members to warn them that she would probably be calling within the next few days pissed off at me. I did tell my Grandma that I would love to answer any questions she may have if she wanted to talk to me about it. Hopefully she will be open with me. If not, I guess we go back to having our heads in the sand...I HATE that option! So I guess next week you will get to hear how that went!
Second, I'm exhausted! I was tired when I was pregnant with both of my boys but this pregnancy is kicking my ass! Probably because it's twins but it still sucks! I want to go back to sleep as soon as I wake up, I want to go to sleep on the drive to work, I want to sleep through lunch, I just want to sleep and with a job, husband, & 2 little boys it's pretty much impossible! My husband has had strep for 2 days so he had been quarantined away from the boys and I. Well, last night work had a going away party for a girl that is leaving us so I was out a little later than normal (I left the party at 8 and got home around 9) and when I got home, now that Daryl is allowed to have human contact, he was a ball of energy when I got home! When we crawled into bed I couldn't get him to hush! He just wanted to talk and all I wanted to do was sleep. So today I feel like I was hit by a bus! Hopefully I will catch up on sleep this weekend and not be as tired...HOPEFULLY!
Third, I'm just uncomfortable! I think it's my chair at work. I feel like I can't breathe! After I eat I feel like it's sitting just below my boobs! I know I felt like this with my other pregnancies but I know it wasn't until the last couple of months! If it's this bad already...oh dear! When I get up and walk around it gets better so I try to so that as much as possible during the day but then it looks like I'm not working. Oh well, I guess I will just have to deal.
I'm sorry that you have had to read nothing but bitching today but I'm trying to be as real as possible! Pregnancy is hard and it's not always wonderful but the outcome makes it worth it! Plus, you're reading it and no one is making you! :) I appreciate each and everyone of you taking the time to listen to my ranting and raving! My cousin Traci told me to keep a journal of my thoughts and feelings so that is what I'm trying to do! Some days will be more amusing than others but I hope you stick with me! Much love! ~Mel
A Surrogate Mommy's Perspective
Lilypie Ticker
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Friday, July 22, 2011
I'm pregnant with twins and they're not my husbands!? ;)
So do I have you attention yet?
Hello! My name is Melissa and this is my first attempt at blogging so please bare with me!
I would like to welcome you to my journey & perspective of becoming a surrogate mom. If you have any questions or comments for me, please feel free! I know there is some stuff that I'm going to talk about that can be confusing or hard to understand so I will do my best to answer your questions openly & honestly. If you are a friend or family member you know that I have NO problem telling you how I feel about a subject so please be the same with me!
A little bit about myself first...
I am happily married to my wonderful husband, Daryl, of 7 years. We have two wonderful little boys, Cameron, who will be 6 in December and Caleb, who just turned 2 in June. My mom passed away shortly after Daryl and I were married. I mention my mom's death because she is (even though she's not with me physically) my biggest support in my decision to become a surrogate mom.
How my journey began...
When I was trying to get pregnant with Cameron it just wasn't happening as fast as I wanted it too. It only took 3 months but it still wasn't as fast as I thought it should be (crazy, I know). I started to think about all of the wonderful people in the world that want babies as badly as I do but just can't have them for one reason or another. This thought really broke my heart, I couldn't imagine the heartache of my doctor telling me that I could never have babies of my own!
Well after getting pregnant with Cam my thoughts were put on the back burner. Can you blame me? I was busy with being a first time mommy and all the fun stuff that goes with that! Even though it was on the back burner, that doesn't mean that it was just a fleeting thought, I honestly thought about it a lot.
My journey didn't actually begin until after I had our second son. I took Caleb to the doctor one day and was reading a little magazine that I had found in the doctor's office. There was an advertisement about donating eggs or becoming a surrogate. This was exactly what I needed to assist me with my journey. After all, I had no clue how to begin the process.
I mentioned to my OBGYN that I wanted to be a surrogate and she thought I would be a wonderful candidate. I had easy pregnancies with both of my boys, I never got "sick". Don't get me wrong, everything wasn't always beautiful and peaceful but for the most part, pregnancy is a breeze for me!
My doctor had an associate that had a patient that was looking for a surrogate so, my doctor gave them my information and one day out of the blue I received a phone call to set up a meeting.
In September 2009 Daryl & I met with our potential intended parents (IP's), *Vicki & Steve. We hit if off from the beginning, it was like we were long lost friends. They called me the Friday after our first meeting to tell me that they loved me and wanted me to carry their child for them. We started moving forward with the process. They already had a lawyer and a clinic that they were familiar with. I had to find a lawyer and Daryl & I both had to go through blood test after blood test, physiological tests, and a meeting with a therapist. Not to mention all of the medications I had to be on! At some point I did ask myself, "What have I gotten us into?" but I never once had a change of heart.
To make this story a little shorter, the surrogacy with Vicki & Steve did not work out. It broke my heart to get the phone call from Vicki telling me that the doctor had told her that having a baby of her own would no longer be an option unless they wanted to use a donor's eggs. See, Vicki was over 40 and her egg quality just wasn't good enough to create viable embryos. We did attempt 1 transfer and unfortunatly it just did not take. In October 2010, I said goodbye to Vicki & Steve. I still think about them and I hope they have found peace in whatever decisions they have made since then.
As soon as I received the phone call from Vicki, I started calling everyone I had any contact with during the first attempted surrogacy that would be able to point me in the right direction. That is when I met Gayle with Surrogate Solutions. I had found an agency that could answer all of my questions and would be with me through the entire surrogacy, to walk me through the process and to be an advocate for me. With Vicki & Steve I didn't really have anyone to talk to or to guide me. That has not been the case with Gayle! Gayle has been AMAZING since the first day I met her and I'm not just saying that! Gayle and Surrogate Soultions has honestly been a God send to me in the journey of my second surrogacy! I feel as though my mom had a huge part in me finding Gayle. I could always find something wrong with the other agencies (I'm very picky) and no matter how hard I looked, Gayle and Surrogate Solutions has always been a perfect fit!
Gayle almost immediatly had a couple for Daryl and I to meet. On November 14, 2010 Daryl, Gayle, and I had lunch with my current IP's, *Fred & Jill. Things moved a little bit slower with Fred & Jill but we were all defiently working towards the same goal.
After a few ups & downs, a lot of medications, and a ton of patience (the process requires a lot of them) my transfer date was June 25, 2011. Fingers crossed! For 9 days all I could do was hope that it would take on the first try. Everyone assured me that they had no doubt that it would but after the first transfer not taking with Vicki & Steve, I couldn't help but doubt myself. One morning I woke up knowing it took and that I was pregnant! It had been 1 week and 1 day since the transfer and I was still 2 days away from the blood test that would without a doubt tell me if I were right or not! Well I gave in a took a urine pregnancy test...it was POSITIVE! I wanted to jump up &down and scream & yell because I was so happy! However, I didn't. I acted like it was bad, walked out to the car, and had a little fun with Daryl before I told him it was positive. It was amusing to see the look on my husbands face. You could tell he was disappointed until I said "just kidding, I'm pregnant"!
On July 5th I went to the doctor for my blood test and of course it said the exact same thing that the urine test did. I received a message from the clinic that said "I wasn't just pregnant, I was super duper pregnant! My pregnancy hormone levels were really high at 520." To be honest with you, I had no idea what that meant but I knew I was pregnant. I scheduled a followup blood test 2 days later and my pregnancy hormone levels had increased to 1,167! After telling Gayle, she said "I bet your pregnant with twins", which to be honest shocked me! I knew it was a possibility but I never thought it would happen! I always wanted twins but I couldn't imagine myself pregnant with my own twins after having 2 single pregnancies. It was actually a relief to know that I could experience a pregnancy carrying twins without actually having twins of my own! I know that sounds strange but it is a hugh relief to know that Daryl and I would be taking them home with us. I want another baby, and I know I would handle it if I did have twins, but can you imagine?
To explain the pregnancy hormone levels, on day one your levels should be around 150 and day three they should increase to about 300. I did my testing on day 2 and was at 520 (well over the levels of a normal day 3) then on day 4 which was at 1167! You can see why Gayle thought it was twins, my levels were just so high!
July 19th Daryl and I went for the first sonogram. The doctor asked me if I knew what I was looking at? I said it's twins! He confirmed that I was correct! I am pregnant with twins! We got to see & hear the little heartbeats and it was amazing!
The doctors office printed me out a bunch of pics to send to Fred & Jill and I hope they enjoyed seeing them! They couldn't be there for the appointment because they had just moved out of state but I know they wanted to be! I know that Jill will come to as many appointments as possible. They will both be here for the birth though!
I got to call Jill and tell her the good news! Her reaction still makes me smile! She reacted the same way I would have, had the doctor told me I was having twins of my own! Jill was speechless! She said Thank You A LOT! She also made sure to reassure me that her speechlessness was not because she wasn't excited but because she was in shock! Which I totally understand! At this point you're just hoping that the transfer works but to find out that it worked x2 can be a little (who am I kidding) a lot shocking! I am over the moon with happiness for Fred & Jill! I know that they will love their babies and care for their babies as much as I do my own!
*Names have been changed for privacy
So as the title says "I'm pregnant with twins and they're not my husbands!?" isn't all of the drama you may have thought it was but I got your attention didn't I? :)
I think that is enough for today! Please come back and read my future posts. I'm going to try to be good and use this blog as a journal for my thoughts.
Thank you for stopping by! ~Melissa
Hello! My name is Melissa and this is my first attempt at blogging so please bare with me!
I would like to welcome you to my journey & perspective of becoming a surrogate mom. If you have any questions or comments for me, please feel free! I know there is some stuff that I'm going to talk about that can be confusing or hard to understand so I will do my best to answer your questions openly & honestly. If you are a friend or family member you know that I have NO problem telling you how I feel about a subject so please be the same with me!
A little bit about myself first...
I am happily married to my wonderful husband, Daryl, of 7 years. We have two wonderful little boys, Cameron, who will be 6 in December and Caleb, who just turned 2 in June. My mom passed away shortly after Daryl and I were married. I mention my mom's death because she is (even though she's not with me physically) my biggest support in my decision to become a surrogate mom.
How my journey began...
When I was trying to get pregnant with Cameron it just wasn't happening as fast as I wanted it too. It only took 3 months but it still wasn't as fast as I thought it should be (crazy, I know). I started to think about all of the wonderful people in the world that want babies as badly as I do but just can't have them for one reason or another. This thought really broke my heart, I couldn't imagine the heartache of my doctor telling me that I could never have babies of my own!
Well after getting pregnant with Cam my thoughts were put on the back burner. Can you blame me? I was busy with being a first time mommy and all the fun stuff that goes with that! Even though it was on the back burner, that doesn't mean that it was just a fleeting thought, I honestly thought about it a lot.
My journey didn't actually begin until after I had our second son. I took Caleb to the doctor one day and was reading a little magazine that I had found in the doctor's office. There was an advertisement about donating eggs or becoming a surrogate. This was exactly what I needed to assist me with my journey. After all, I had no clue how to begin the process.
I mentioned to my OBGYN that I wanted to be a surrogate and she thought I would be a wonderful candidate. I had easy pregnancies with both of my boys, I never got "sick". Don't get me wrong, everything wasn't always beautiful and peaceful but for the most part, pregnancy is a breeze for me!
My doctor had an associate that had a patient that was looking for a surrogate so, my doctor gave them my information and one day out of the blue I received a phone call to set up a meeting.
In September 2009 Daryl & I met with our potential intended parents (IP's), *Vicki & Steve. We hit if off from the beginning, it was like we were long lost friends. They called me the Friday after our first meeting to tell me that they loved me and wanted me to carry their child for them. We started moving forward with the process. They already had a lawyer and a clinic that they were familiar with. I had to find a lawyer and Daryl & I both had to go through blood test after blood test, physiological tests, and a meeting with a therapist. Not to mention all of the medications I had to be on! At some point I did ask myself, "What have I gotten us into?" but I never once had a change of heart.
To make this story a little shorter, the surrogacy with Vicki & Steve did not work out. It broke my heart to get the phone call from Vicki telling me that the doctor had told her that having a baby of her own would no longer be an option unless they wanted to use a donor's eggs. See, Vicki was over 40 and her egg quality just wasn't good enough to create viable embryos. We did attempt 1 transfer and unfortunatly it just did not take. In October 2010, I said goodbye to Vicki & Steve. I still think about them and I hope they have found peace in whatever decisions they have made since then.
As soon as I received the phone call from Vicki, I started calling everyone I had any contact with during the first attempted surrogacy that would be able to point me in the right direction. That is when I met Gayle with Surrogate Solutions. I had found an agency that could answer all of my questions and would be with me through the entire surrogacy, to walk me through the process and to be an advocate for me. With Vicki & Steve I didn't really have anyone to talk to or to guide me. That has not been the case with Gayle! Gayle has been AMAZING since the first day I met her and I'm not just saying that! Gayle and Surrogate Soultions has honestly been a God send to me in the journey of my second surrogacy! I feel as though my mom had a huge part in me finding Gayle. I could always find something wrong with the other agencies (I'm very picky) and no matter how hard I looked, Gayle and Surrogate Solutions has always been a perfect fit!
Gayle almost immediatly had a couple for Daryl and I to meet. On November 14, 2010 Daryl, Gayle, and I had lunch with my current IP's, *Fred & Jill. Things moved a little bit slower with Fred & Jill but we were all defiently working towards the same goal.
After a few ups & downs, a lot of medications, and a ton of patience (the process requires a lot of them) my transfer date was June 25, 2011. Fingers crossed! For 9 days all I could do was hope that it would take on the first try. Everyone assured me that they had no doubt that it would but after the first transfer not taking with Vicki & Steve, I couldn't help but doubt myself. One morning I woke up knowing it took and that I was pregnant! It had been 1 week and 1 day since the transfer and I was still 2 days away from the blood test that would without a doubt tell me if I were right or not! Well I gave in a took a urine pregnancy test...it was POSITIVE! I wanted to jump up &down and scream & yell because I was so happy! However, I didn't. I acted like it was bad, walked out to the car, and had a little fun with Daryl before I told him it was positive. It was amusing to see the look on my husbands face. You could tell he was disappointed until I said "just kidding, I'm pregnant"!
On July 5th I went to the doctor for my blood test and of course it said the exact same thing that the urine test did. I received a message from the clinic that said "I wasn't just pregnant, I was super duper pregnant! My pregnancy hormone levels were really high at 520." To be honest with you, I had no idea what that meant but I knew I was pregnant. I scheduled a followup blood test 2 days later and my pregnancy hormone levels had increased to 1,167! After telling Gayle, she said "I bet your pregnant with twins", which to be honest shocked me! I knew it was a possibility but I never thought it would happen! I always wanted twins but I couldn't imagine myself pregnant with my own twins after having 2 single pregnancies. It was actually a relief to know that I could experience a pregnancy carrying twins without actually having twins of my own! I know that sounds strange but it is a hugh relief to know that Daryl and I would be taking them home with us. I want another baby, and I know I would handle it if I did have twins, but can you imagine?
To explain the pregnancy hormone levels, on day one your levels should be around 150 and day three they should increase to about 300. I did my testing on day 2 and was at 520 (well over the levels of a normal day 3) then on day 4 which was at 1167! You can see why Gayle thought it was twins, my levels were just so high!
July 19th Daryl and I went for the first sonogram. The doctor asked me if I knew what I was looking at? I said it's twins! He confirmed that I was correct! I am pregnant with twins! We got to see & hear the little heartbeats and it was amazing!
The doctors office printed me out a bunch of pics to send to Fred & Jill and I hope they enjoyed seeing them! They couldn't be there for the appointment because they had just moved out of state but I know they wanted to be! I know that Jill will come to as many appointments as possible. They will both be here for the birth though!
I got to call Jill and tell her the good news! Her reaction still makes me smile! She reacted the same way I would have, had the doctor told me I was having twins of my own! Jill was speechless! She said Thank You A LOT! She also made sure to reassure me that her speechlessness was not because she wasn't excited but because she was in shock! Which I totally understand! At this point you're just hoping that the transfer works but to find out that it worked x2 can be a little (who am I kidding) a lot shocking! I am over the moon with happiness for Fred & Jill! I know that they will love their babies and care for their babies as much as I do my own!
*Names have been changed for privacy
So as the title says "I'm pregnant with twins and they're not my husbands!?" isn't all of the drama you may have thought it was but I got your attention didn't I? :)
I think that is enough for today! Please come back and read my future posts. I'm going to try to be good and use this blog as a journal for my thoughts.
Thank you for stopping by! ~Melissa
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